Tuesday, January 1, 2008
BETTER,STRONGER, CRUNCHIER APPLE
2007 ended just a few hours ago, and I amjust glad for a sun rise of a new year just gives be a clearer glimpse of tomorrow and a sparkling new light of hope.
I really feel happy and blessed just as every year opens for it gives me a chance to change for the better, to let go of a few baggages, to forget the negative feelings but to learn from every successful and heartbreaking moment that happened. Last year may not be the best I had but I can definitely say that it was also not the worst.
It was even one of the happiest that I had, if only I could put aside the fact that one of my dear friends went to the States and I still didn't have the chance to be good friends with Cupid.haha.
I had my debut, I had so many great times with my highschool and college friends, I made a lot of new friends, I became fully committed to a new org, I seriously fell in love and became mature enough to let go (this i am not yet very sure,:D ) and I became closer to my family and to God.
See? a lot of wonderful things happened to me. Emotional days and frequent mood swings still occurred but I think it's just all part of this roller coaster ride.
I haven't made any serious new year resolutions though I thought of some like sleeping earlier, loosing weight, removing some bad habits and letting go of emotions that wouldn't help me grow.
I may not be able to do all of the things written above but I am definitely sure that I would want to change, for the better of course.
No more crybaby and super emotional Apple. haha!
As each day would come and go, you'd get to meet a different and better me; someone who'd have the guts to do what she wants and someone who believes in herself, a person who would strongly fight every struggle for her goals, and someone who would show to God and the people around her how thankful she is for her complicated but oh so amazing life.
Cheers everyone!and again,a happy and fruitful 2008 for all of us!big kisses! <3
6:24 PM
The Big L
di ko alam kung dapat akong maging masaya sa araw na to o ewan.kayo na humusga.
WATTA DREAM.nakakaloka ung panaginip ko.
nasa St.Mary's Auditorium daw kami.pero sa panaginip ko,sinasabi na nasa UST kami. tapos dun daw kami nagkakaklase ng JRN2 people.actually,di lang ata journ people un.
tapos may 3 daw kaming new classmates na big guys.tpos ang names nila..puro 2 letters lang.ahaha!
tapos after nun,di na kami magkakatabi ng classmates ko, as in one seat apart.tapos maya maya,tinabihan na kaming lahat ng big guys!
ung big guys,known sila as TBS people.tapos ung school,nakakati lang dw sa TBS tska sa hindi TBS. tapos si Madam Corpuz(hs Fil teacher namin sa meris) e galit na galit dw kasi mamimili na sa time na un kung sino ang mamumuno,ung TBS o hindi.
after magsalita ni madam corpuz, pinalabas na ung leaders ng TBS sa stage. at alam nyo kung sino ung lumabas?
SI JAIME.(oo meris people, si jaime chua!ung crush nyong lahat!) dun sa panaginip ko, susuray suray sya na parang lasing na adik, at ako naman, gulat na gulat.ahahah)
tapog gumulo na ung scene, at next scene, kasama ko ung kuya ko at friends niya na gumigimik. nag ice skating dw kami at kumain ng brownies.
ITO NA ATA PINAKADETAILED KONG PANAGINIP GRABE.
tapos blurry na naman..tapos next scene..BUNTIS NA AKO.
at sa panaginip ko, college pa ako kasi nandun college friends ko sa room tpos tnatanong ko pa daw kay nachi na pano ung dorm niya eh gabi na .tpos sabi niya,nagpaalam naman dw sya tapos tumawa na silang lahat.
tapos ung tatay ng baby..blurred sa panaginip ko,sayang.ahaha!
sa panaginip ko i looked happy.
Pero syempre pag gising ko, bothered ako super.kinuwento ko nga sa tatay ko, pinalo tuloy ako.silly me!
THE REASON FOR A BIGGER Leto na.ang biggest reason bakit ako naiinis sa sarili ko ngayon araw.
nagpunta kasi kami sa sm north edsa nila mama at papa.tapos bandang 10 pm na..pasara na ung mall..bababa sana kme papuntang foodcourt..
tapos lo and behold, galing sa escalator mula sa food court...tenenenenenen....
SI PE MATE CRUSH!.
pareho pa kaming nakapink!
at sa sobrang tuwa, hiya at gulat ko dhel nakita ko siya at nakita ata niya na nakita ko sya...
DI KO SYA PINANSIN!.....oo na isa akong malaking toott!!
as in timang ako.loser.pakiramdam ko,may malaki akong L na sytro sa ulo.
as in dumaan na ako sa halos gilid niya..di ako tumingin.di ko sya pinansin.
alam kong maaaring wala siyang paki sakin..pero di ba pe mate ko sya?dapat nag-hi ako!
ISA AKONG MALAKING ....HMMM EWAN!
nung una kilig na kilig ako at ngayon ay nagsisisi ako.
sbe ng tatay ko, ung tingin dw sken kanina parang naghihintay ng hi.
lahat ng kausapin ko sa ym kanina, sbe dapat pinansin ko.
at pinakamalupit ang kuya albert ko..sbe nya loser dw ako..
mamatay na daw akong virgin..wag na daw akong maghagilap ng lalaki dahil masyado daw akong pademure..waaaaaaah!!!(napakarude niya oo pero ganun talaga sya)o ayan kakasabi lang niya,bitch daw ako.
E NAHIYA TALAGA AKO EH.WHAT CAN I DOOOO???
di tuloy ako makatulog.baka iniisip niyang snob ako.syet.alam ko lalo akong nagmumukhang tanga sa post na to pero kelangan ko lang talagang ilabas ang kaengotan na ito.
at ngayon.apat na lang ang naiisip kong pagpilian na gawin.
a) magcomment sa friendster niya ng"ikaw ba ung nakita ko sa sm kanina?
b)sa thursday e kausapin siya at sabihing"ikaw ba ung nakita ko sa sm nung..AY OO NGA IKAW UN!"
c)matulog na lang na parang walang nangyari (pra namang makakatulog ako no?)
d)lasunin ang aking sarili,lunurin ang sarili sa kape o magbasa ng chain mail para patayin ako ni sadako o ng kung sino mang mumu na pumapatay kuno
kung pwde, tulungan nyo din akong mamili ng letter.
salamat!
hay nako.
sana sana sana sana.nag-hi na lang talaga ako.
e di sana ngayon, may baon baon pa akong ngiti niya pag-uwi di bah?:D
6:18 PM
SABI
Tuwing nagkukwento ako tungkol sayo, eto ang sinasabi ng karamihan:
"There are still many fishes in the sea.."
Gustung-gusto ko silang sagutin ng:
"Oo alam ko.pero i want that fish. I LOVE THAT FISH."
kaso baka pagtawanan nila ako.
hay nako, sana talaga naging isda ka na lang...
para hindi ako ganito ka-grabe kung masaktan.
6:16 PM
Saturday, December 29, 2007
CONVERSATIONS WITH THE KUYAS
Conversation no.1 Noche Buena with Kuya Albert
(on childhood memories, nakaupo sa dining room, nagdadaldalan)
Kuya Albert: naalala ko dati, may lagi akong pinagtitripan nung gr.1 ata o grade 2 ata ako nun.
Ako: talaga?babae?o lalaki?
Kuya Albert: babae,si Charisse.
Ako: anong ginagawa mo sa kanya?
Kuya Albert: iniikot ung towel tapos pinapalo ko sa kanya. tapos pag may puddle of mud sa quad, tinatadyakan ko para tamaan sya. tapos nung xmas party ata un, mukha siyang santa claus na babae tapos anlaki lagi ng ribbon sa buhok, ayun,kinawkaw ko ng daliri ung pagkain niya.
Ako: e bakit mo ba kasi ginagawa un?
Kuya Albert: *says in a very swabe way* e ampanget nya eh.
Conversation No.2: Staying at home with Kuya Noel(ako nanunuod ng korean movie sala, si kuya noel naghihiwa ng hotdog sa dining table)
Ako: *humihikbi sa isang sulok ng sofa*
Kuya Noel: umiiyak ka ba?
Ako: *hikbi pa rin, credits na un ah*
Kuya Noel: hala,umiiyak pa rin
Ako: *pinatay na ang tv,singa,punas luha,punta sa pc at tulala*
Kuya Noel: ano ba kasing storya?
Ako: *looks at kuya and cries again*
Kuya Noel: Grabe ka naman,hala hala.sarap mo picturan, tumatawa ka tapos umiiyak
Ako: *iyak pa rin at tawa*
i may hate them sometimes..but really...
they are two of the greatest reasons why i love christmas breaks. :D
11:32 PM
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Elude
Wake up, open my eyes
Literally
We need to run
Take my hand
Every place is shattering on its own
I am a child again
You are up there
Looking down on me
Your hair
Still so black in the sun
I crawl
Back to unending emptiness
I see you again
I touch you
You
Vanish just with every piece of memory
We lie on the snow
My pulse freezes with the ice
You breathe
I am warm
Able to live
You go
And back again
Don’t you remember anything?
Start
Redundancy everywhere
Your head
Lying on my heart
Listening to every beat
We pretend
He’s haunting us
Chase yesterday with me
I can’t forget you
My memory
Feeds on my emotions
Of you
Of me
Would this take long?
Grasping every strand of hope
Take me to somewhere deeper
Let us hide
In your darkest secrets
Away
Lost in trance
Forever
With you
I remember everything.
December 25, 2007
5:35 am
6:31 AM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
no,please,not him.
I was walking around USt last night with my friend.
And I told her,"pag may nakita akong kakilala kong lalaki ngayong gabi,meant to be kami."
I looked everywhere and as our walk ended, all I saw were girl friends.
So I stopped believing what I said and just went back to the field.
The night was coming to an end and we went forward to watch the band.
And just when I was already giving up, I saw him.
The person that I wasn't really expecting to show up.
I noticed him for he his place was weirdly lighten up by some light that I cannot see.
And I wasn't expecting that he would be mr.meant to be.
Oh God,I don't want this all over again.
Please stop this crazy thought before it gets worse and hurts me again.
Please,not him.
Because for the very first time, I felt that we can never be even before I feel something else.
Something useless and oh so stupid.
10:05 PM
Thursday, December 13, 2007
EMO MODE
waaahhh...,gusto ko lang sabihin...
nakakaemo ung kanta sa Enchanted na So Close by Jon McLaughlin!!!
umiiyak na talaga ako dito..tae naman!!wahooo!!
lam mo un..pag narinig mo siya..maalala mo lahat ng sad and kilig moments mo sa buhay pag-ibig!!
nangingilid na talaga luha sa mata ko...superrrr..
WAAAAAAAHH!!!i can't stop listening to it...kahit ata hindi,the song would go on playing in my mind.,.and i would still cry.
is there anyone who can save me??
waaaahhh....EMO.syet.
11:13 PM
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
thanks...Papa.
My eyes are so filled with tears and I just don't want to let them flow.
I am not like this because my papa and I had another fight but because he did something that may seem so simple to others but for me is such a big sacrifice.
You see, my cellphone wasn't already working yesterday so he said he'd have it repaired this morning for he saw me all so down and worried.
He texted me while I was in class, using another number and telling me that he lost his phone.
But do you know what the truth is?
He sold his cellphone just to have mine repaired.
And I am just lost for words for what he has done.
We may be fighting a lot these days for things he did but he just never failed to prove his love for me, at the most unexpected times.
I just wish this wouldn't just stop here.
And I wish that I could give that love back to him.
I can't stop these tears from flowing.
Thank you papa. :((
7:03 PM
Monday, December 3, 2007
crap.
I had such a great time having lunch and tomweb-ing with my friends. This could have been one of the happiest days of my week if my cellphone just didn't give up on me, if we didn't need to study for our stat quiz and if he didn't just play tricks on me.
I am so pissed off, I want to cry and and I am very sad.
Why can't I have a day that begins and ends happily? It's as if my world was turned upside down. Why does sadness always come after happiness?
AAAAArrrghhh..I don't know what to do anymore. :((
11:19 PM
Saturday, December 1, 2007
:)
i know it's just so obvious
but i would just really like to say
that having just a few minutes to talk and chat with you
takes away all the pain that was remembered
and leaves a permanent smile on my face.
thank you. :D
7:02 PM
